Teddy – a story of trust

[Kathy Simms]

I believe I wrote this story many many years ago, but as most of those students are no longer with us and there is a whole crop of new students, I felt compelled to write this story again.

My Teddy was always afraid of stairs, no reason ( at least not in this lifetime) as I had him from birth and his mother and grandmother and great grandmother.

When he was about 3 years old I temporarily rented a house from a friend, it was totally furnished but an old house built around the time of the Civil War. The bedrooms were upstairs and the computer room.
Teddy would never venture up there. The girls would come up and visit while I was on the computer and would sleep with me upstairs while he stayed downstairs by himself. No amount of coaxing would get him to come up.
One night while I was doing computer work I heard a commotion on the steps and all three dogs came running into the computer room. Teddy! What a good boy! I praised him for coming up and we all had a good time. Then it was bedtime and time for them to go out for their bedtime potty. Teddy would NOT go back down stairs. Finally gave up, took care of the girls and then we all went to bed.

Next morning same thing. He would not come down. I explained that he could not stay up there all day, I had to go to work and he had to go out and potty.
I neglected to say these stairs were very scary. They were very narrow, against one wall and the other side had no railing of any kind, just a straight drop off down to the first level. It was scary even for me.
I talked to him, I cajoled him, I put treats on each step, I put a leash on him and tried to pull him down until I was afraid I would fall off the side. Finally I sat down beside him on the top step, put my arm around him and told him that I had to go to work and he could not stay up there all day. I told him to please come down the steps with me, that I would not let anything happen to him, we would go down together, to trust me.
Finally he stood up, his legs were trembling and he leaned against me and one step at a time, very slowly, we went downstairs. When we got to the bottom I did a happy dance with him, told him how brave he was and loved him so much.
That night the girls came upstairs but not Teddy. He had learned his lesson sort of. A couple nights later they were running and playing downstairs and then he, forgetting his fear, ran up the stairs with the girls. Again got lots of praise for coming up, but again he would not go down for night time potty. Whole same scenario all over again.

Next morning, didn’t waste time trying all the other things again, just sat down with him and talked again. Reminded that I didn’t let anything happen to him last time, we got down the steps ok, and we would again this time, but he could NOT stay up there all day. So just trust me.
Again he stood, trembling but not quite as bad, this time he did not lean against me, I talked to him the whole time and step by step we made it down. I praised him and told him how brave he was and how proud of him I was and how much I loved him.

That night he ran upstairs with the girls and at bedtime went back down and out to potty and back up to sleep with us and never any more problem.
But it was all due to his trust in me. I couldn’t have loved him more!

This was before I was introduced to animal communicaton

[Elizabeth Burton]

That’s a wonderful story, Kathy! Thanks so much for sharing it. I love that this happened prior to your knowledge of animal communication.

[Melanie Appleyard]

What a lovely story Kathy. Thanks for sharing your experience.
Even before you learned Animal communication, it sounds like you already intuitively connected and went at his pace.

[Kathy Simms]

Thanks, Elizabeth and Melanie. Actually I used to hear my dogs talk to me, not all the time but at different times I would sometimes just “know: and at other times really hear them. I didn’t think much about it then, it didn’t seem odd, we just understood each other and I always knew they heard and understood me. I have several instances or examples I could give. But alas I have lost that ability.

[Mary Hill]

What a beautiful story. Trust is so important in a relationship. If we only stopped for a minute and looked at the animal’s point of view. Well done.

[Kathy Simms]

Thanks, Mary. I think I am having a trust issue with Sabrina and am rather down in the dumps tonight. I don’t know if it is her fear of other dogs but that she is trying to protect me, or if, again her fear, and doesn’t trust me to protect her. Stems from first 2 German Shepherds tried to get her then she was abt 3 or 4 months old and then when she was 8 or 9 months old in obedience class a big mastiff kept trying to jump her in class. We finally withdrew but the damage was done. Have been working with her ever since trying to get her over it, but she comes so far, then something happens and she regresses. We had a bad afternoon with a dog trying to get her and then tonight in class she freaked out was so scared. I am at my wits end and do not know what more we can do. She has made friends with two different groups of dogs and loves playing with them but any new one she sees it starts all over again. Sorry. Just caught me at a bad time.

[Mary Hill]

Hello Kathy, maybe it is the type of dog that frightens her. You should ask Jade to post Sabrina’s problem for our next platinum masterclass. She has done some amazing healing or if you can afford it, get 15 min session with Val to help. Once a dog gets hurt or scared by another dog, it often takes time and a trainer. Maybe discontinue classes for awhile. I am so sorry you are going through this. Take some time for yourself to destress if you can, its hard when we can’t communicate with our dogs. Sending hugs and love.

[Kathy Simms]

Thanks Mary, but I am not in the master class. I think I have asked in the gold q&a . I have worked with different trainers and done online classes. I have spent a fortune on her. Finally one person has several acres and does training and boarding and after lots of training classes and having other dogs in the classes and letting her be behind a fence and get to learn that some dogs are not aggressive, she now has a group of dogs that she can go out there and play with without fences. I have to pay for the play time and it is almost an hour drive one way but we do it weekly and she is so happy there. Also one of our scent work instructors has loved her from the first time she saw her as a puppy and we have become friends. Sabrina loves her, she has been to my house several times, a couple times with her dogs, and we have been to her house several times and Sabrina can be around them. She gets so much better but I have to work with her EVERY day, if I don’t it shows and sometimes I just can’t – due to weather and sometimes I cannot due to physical problems, but if the least little thing happens it sets her way back.
For the last two and a half yrs my entire life revolves around her. I have run out of money and I am getting tired. I wish I could pay to have Val work with her but I just cannot. I am literally going under financially, emotionally, everyway. Sorry to put this all out there but have been dealing with all this for some time.
Last night was not a class that she was in, I am assisting the friend with an obedience/rally class. Sabrina stays in a crate in another room until class is over and after everyone leaves she gets to come out and run in the huge training room and play.
Yesterday we went to a dog park, no I do not let my dogs go into dog parks, I don’t believe in them, but it is the only place I have to go where she can see other dogs and be safe on the outside of the fence while we walk around. She was fine, watching some of them play and we were walking, then one came running at us trying to attack but the fence was there and it couldn’t. I was able to get her attention back on me several times and we kept walking but it kept coming and one time was biting at the fence and snarling and she became too excited and pulling and trying to get to the fence (there was only abt a 10 ft space between the fence and the woods if you are wondering why we kept walking around it – it was the only thing we could do(usually she just wants to get away) That incidence took quite a while to get her settled down. Last night class was essentially over, but 2 club members were still there with their dogs when the ‘friend’ main instructor insisted that I bring Sabrina in. She has seen Sabriina behave herself around strange dogs, has seen me keep her attention on me and was sure it would be ok. But when we walked in and Sabrina saw strange people and 2 strange dogs she went off, barking and excited, I turned her away and would get her attention back on me but the dogs were always there, the friend came over and got in our way, stood there in the way and was keeping from being able to turn Sabrina away and one of the other people began walking toward us with her dog and it was not good. I was saying Cant you see how scared she is??? and the friend kept saying she’s not scared. She made me so mad, being in our way and not letting me get Sabrina under control and calm her down and then saying she was not afraid, I said” if you can’t see that she is scared then you don’t know dogs very well”

That was kind of the end of the night.

As Paul Harvey used to say AND NOW YOU KNOW THE REST OF THE STORY.

Kathy

[Author]

Posts