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LilyModerator
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I spoke with Lilly today. At first Lilly was semi-hiding. She was present enough to see me and I could see her but she was shy. I introduced myself and asked her if she would practice communicating with me. She agreed to speak with me.
I told her it was ok to come out from behind the chair if she would like to. I promised her that I would not touch her with my hands. [I see her sheepishly crawling towards me and then springing back]. I again assured her that I wouldn’t touch her. I told her she could even lay in my lap if she wanted and I still wouldn’t touch her if she didn’t want me too. I got the feeling she did want to curl up in my lap. [We shared a picture of her laying curled up in my lap and as promised I was not touching her with my hands]. (Then we had a conversation about so many people who are asked and agree not to touch a dog right away when first meeting them and they say “Oh yes, I know not to touch them. They need to get a sense of me first”. What do they always do? Go in for the petting right away! 🤦🏼♀️).
(L) I like it when my Mom touches me! I like to snuggle with my Mom all the time. I’m not shy then! I am so happy to see her, I do a happy dance whenever she comes home. I like my family and friends too. It’s just strangers that it takes me a little bit to warm up to and get a sense of who they are first.
(L) I’m not like a scaredy-cat where I run under the bed and never come out. Once I do make friends with someone, I warm up to them super fast as soon as I smell them.
(L) I love my home and my family. Sometimes I get scared from loud noises and I jump but then I’m fine. Most times the house is pretty quiet.
(T) I see your house as pretty quiet. Not a lot of parties are thrown there. Maybe in the summer, there will be some fun BBQ’s”.
(L) If I don’t feel like being around a bunch of people, I can always lay on my Mom’s bed. She has steps for me to get up and down. (?)
(T). What else do you like to do? Do you like to go on car rides?
(L) Yes I like to go on car rides(L) [Shows me a picture of her at the Groomers]. She doesn’t like going to the groomers but her Mom always makes such a big fuss over her when she gets picked up, so that makes it worth it.
(T) Do you like the Groomer?
(L) Yes She is a nice lady. I like to have the same lady every time so I know what to expect.
(T) Can you expect her to be gentle?
(L) Yes, for the most part she is gentle with me. Sometimes she has a bad day because of something to do with her personal life and she is frustrated when Grooming me. She is still gentle but she seems to rush a little more on those days. We do enjoy each other’s company. I can’t have a conversation like we are having but we both send love back and forth to each other and it’s nice. We share respect and admiration for one another.(T) Back to car rides… Do you enjoy being in the car?
(L) [Shows me a picture of a window seat in the back passenger window. It goes up and down from being set up, so I don’t know if she has a window seat already or if she would like to get a window seat for the car.](L) [I also saw a picture of Lilly at an outdoor cafe while you were having lunch with her Mom and a friend]. She likes doing that very much.
(T) Is there anything else you would like me to tell your Mom?
(L) Yes, I would like to have my nails painted Hot Pink!
(T) Do you usually get your nails painted?
(L) No but I think I would like that.
(L) My inner wildness is ready to break through!
(T) Ha Ha, I love that! I will for sure tell your Mom.Well if there is not anything else, I will type this up and get it to your Mom so she will know what we talked about. I very much liked talking to you. Please have your Mom send me a photo if you ever get your nails painted Hot Pink! 🤣
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Hi Peg,
I saw that you had replied to my post but I couldn’t find it. Would you mind posting once more? Thank You! Terrianne McGrah-
Hi Terrianne,
I don’t know why you didn’t get my post. I do not know how to do all of this very well. I hope I do it right this time. Lily is afraid of lots of things, especially people she does not know. She wants to see everyone but then she backs up. She even backs up from me and won’t let me pick her up. Can you ask her why she does that.
I am the groomer. I can not imagine what she was talking about unless it is the Vet tech. We have made lots of visits to the vet. She does not like me to touch her feet. I am not sure how we could paint her nails. Her feet bother her and she is always licking her feet.
We have not been to an outdoor cafe. She might mean sitting outdoors on the patio at my house.
Thanks for talking to her. I wish I could do it.
Peg
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Hi,
The act of coming close and then backing away is exactly what she did with me. She didn’t seem to want my hands to touch her (I am a stranger). I asked her why she backed away from you sometimes and she said she doesn’t like being picked up. When her feet are off the ground, she has no control over her body and that is scary to her. If you want to cuddle, on the couch or even in your lap is good.I asked her about the “Groomer”. I said remember when we talked about the Groomer….. Your Groomer is your Mom. Her eyes went so wide then she had a look of confusion. I said, your Mom thought maybe you were thinking of the Vet Tech. Yes! Yes…that is who she was talking about.
I asked her about not allowing you to touch her feet. She said a long time ago, someone cut her nail and it hurt so bad! It hurt for days. She doesn’t ever want that to happen again. I asked her if you could start to lightly hold a paw for 3 seconds and receive a treat. Keep increasing time/treats if she is allowing you to hold her paw. She was on the fence when we spoke. I told her that having her nails trimmed is part of life and it needs to be done unfortunately whether you’re a fan or not. It can affect your health. If she has a plan, I am all ears. Everyone involved wants nail clipping to be a non stressful event.
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Terrianne,
Thank you for making things clear to me. Does she know that I am very sad when she does not want me to pick her up and hold her. Tell her it hurts my feelings and I feel like she does not like me.
Does she know that I communicate with her by pictures? Does she get my messages even though I do not know how to get her messages?
I have a nail clipper and also the grinder type where you can file them instead of cutting. She does not seem to like either one. Val told me that her dew claws, which are gone, hurt her. Could that be what she is talking about?
Thanks,
Peg -
Hi Peg,
Lily is so sorry that you feel sad that she doesn’t want you to pick her up. It has nothing to do with you. She has a fear of losing control of her body. When she is lifted in the air, she can’t control where she goes or what happens to her when she doesn’t have her feet on the ground.
For her nails… any approach; nail clippers or dremel are very scary. It’s not so much you that she doesn’t trust. It is all about avoiding that severe pain that she experienced in the past.
As far as communicating with you… on a personal level, I have 3 dogs and 2 cats and I struggle terribly to communicate with them. I tell them all the time “I’m communicating with other people’s Animals all the time and I don’t get a word from any of you!”. So know that it’s not you. Im told it is harder to communicate with your own pets because of the history and expectation of an outcome already in our minds. So just as I was told, practice on other people’s pets first. Your pets will be there waiting when it’s time for you to communicate with them.
Lastly, Lily stressed to me that she wanted to make it clear that she loves you so much! You are so loving and kind. She couldn’t ask for a better Mom. “Always know that I love you even when you think my behavior says differently”. I’m afraid of things which makes me behave a certain way, (like not wanting to be picked up). I still love you, it’s just me not being comfortable in that moment.
Wow! That was awesome! Hope it helps! -
Terrianne,
Is there something I can do to help her get over her fear so she will eventually not be scared of me picking her up? I never had a dog before, ( have had many dogs) that wouldn’t come to me to pick up. It is a new experience and one that I do not like. I hope she will get over it. Did she have a bad experience in her past life that is causing this. I wonder if she was one of my past dogs?
Does she know that I try to send her messages by pictures?
Thanks, I am so glad that she will talk to you. It has helped me alot. -
I sat on the floor with Lily standing next to me. I asked her if she was up to answering a few questions from her Mom. If she doesn’t want to answer a particular question, she can just say “Pass” and we will move on to something else. Lily agreed to talk with me.
(T&L) It really bothers your Mom that you don’t like her to pick you up. I already told you why. Yes, but I think she is wondering why you won’t want HER to pick you up? (T) Did you have a bad experience?
(L) Lily shares a bad experience… I was standing on a glass table, and I was close to the edge which made the table tip over and crash on the ground. It was a very scary experience that she doesn’t want to have again.
(T) Thank you for clearing that up for us.(T) Is there anything your Mom can do to make the experience of getting your nails done in a more confident way?
(L) No(T) I asked Lily if she knows when you are communicating with her when she sends you pictures.
(L) Yes, I know when my Mom is trying to talk to me. She sends me pictures and then talks about the pictures as well.(T) Are you one of Peg’s past dogs?
I see a large brown, short haired dog and I also see a small brown dog with short hair. I do not know who or when they were here in this lifetime or past lifetimes. 🤷♀️ -
Good Morning Terrianne,
I think I know what happened with the glass table. It was when she was a baby and she wrapped her leash around a standing candle holder which was glass with a candle on the inside and it fell over and broke. She was not standing on it. I hope she can get over these things which make her scared. Can you ask her to try to get over it so we can have more moments that we can be together for loves and cuddles.
I have not had any large dogs, only small. Does she say I was her Mom with those dogs?
I wonder if you can ask her about her mouth? We are going to the Vet tomorrow for a shot she needs. She told Val her head hurts, her teeth hurt, maybe TMJ? I want the vet to take an Xray and find out what the problem is. Maybe a tooth that did not come in. Can she be more specific about the pain. She does not like to chew bones that a year ago she did chew. You could tell her we are going to see the doctor so he can fix it but he needs to have more information like —When did it start, how long has it been going on, where is the pain, is it a tooth, jaw bone, does it hurt all the time or only when she eats? -
Hi Peg,
While I love to help, we are charting territory that I am not equipped to handle. I am a student too, with a lot of growth ahead of me. I don’t want to discuss medical issues. I did tell her that she has a Vet appt tomorrow to look in her mouth to see if there is anything wrong visually or with a physical exam.
Strike two…Lily is pretty set in her ways about being picked up. She hopes that you understand it’s not personal towards you. She hopes that you can just accept that about her. She loves you very much but that is something that doesn’t feel good to her.Do you have any words of wisdom for Me, with regard to my connections? Do you have any further things to say to your Mom? Or do you have a lesson for People in general?
Lily said all humans need to learn 2 lessons:
#1 Take things as they are, without wanting to change them somehow.
#2 “It is, what it is”Thank you Lily! I know personally how your advise reflects in my own life. I appreciate that.
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Hi Terrianne,
I wanted to tell you about our trip to the vet. The Vet who is a chiropractor adjusted her head, jaws and neck and back and tail. He did not think it was her teeth. He took an xray last year so he did not want to do that again. He gave her some meds which he said is like a baby aspirin which I did not want to do. I told him I was giving her CBD oil. Can you ask her if her pain is gone or better. I had planned to start scent training with her in 2 weeks. I wonder if she wants to do that if she is still in pain? We quit doing agility because she was in pain with her feet. He wants to see her back in a week. She is an expensive dog. We have spent alot of money in her 2 years.
Thanks, Peg -
Hi Peg,
I’m glad she was able to get an adjustment. That sounds delightful. I haven’t had one in years. Again, I am not confident in. My skills to comment on pain or other medical conditions. I did bring up Agility and Scent work. She showed me an agility course with her weaving the poles and an “A” frame. I showed her the beginning stages of scent word (I wasn’t sure if she had ever done it before because she didn’t comment on it). Once we reviewed both, she said she would like to do both. There was no mention of physical pain or ailments. Again, I am not advanced enough to say whether or not she is in any pain or discomfort.Take care,
Terrianne -
Hi Terrianne,
She did Agility and we had to quit. She told Val she did not like it because her feet hurt. We quit last fall. Interesting that she wants to do it. Did she forget that she did not like doing it. The jumping was painful so we thought we would try scent training. You must be doing it with your dogs.
I thankyou so much for helping me. I hope I will be able to do communication soon. How long did it take you to learn it?
God Bless you,
Peg -
Hi Peg,
I’m not sure about pain in her feet. I did talk about scent work because she didn’t seem to have a knowledge base to work from. I had taken one of my dogs to the beginning classes and it was a lot of fun. Not as physically taxing as Agility. If I remember correctly, she did say that agility has a bunch of rules and she wasn’t crazy about being timed going through the courses. I think scent work will be right up her alley.I have been a student of Val’s for a little over a year. Over the past 6 months, I have been diligent in my focus on animal communication. I am fortunate to have been able to also work privately with Val here and there along the way. I still can not communicate with my own animals. It can be frustrating but I just have to trust the process and know it will come in due time.
You are a great dog Mom! Sit with that and the rest will follow. ❤️
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Hi Terrianne,
Does Lily still have pain in her feet and head?The vet put her on pain meds to help her head and mouth I have stopped it because she threw up and that is one of the side effects of the meds.
I wondered if you knew someone who could talk to my friends cat. She adopted this cat after her husband died and her cat died. After a while the cat started using the dining room as her litter box. She needs to find out why she is doing that and tell her that she has to stop or she is going to have to put the cat down. She wants to move and doesn’t want this in her new place. She loves the cat and the cat loves to be loved. I hope we can find someone to talk to the cat? I wish I could do it, can you?
Peg -
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Hi Terrianne,
I hope you had a nice vacation.
My friend, Judy, has a big fat cat named Muffin. I just tried to call her to see if she could give me a picture or I could take a picture of her but she is not home. She has no plans to move right now. Her husband died and her cat died and she got this cat from the shelter. she thinks perhaps that the cat is not using her litter box because she is gone alot and the cat does not want to be alone. When she is home the cat wants her to love her and she sits in her lap. The cat had gone to 2 other himes that did not work out and they brought her back to the shelter. She needs to move to a smaller place, her house and yard are too much for her to take care of. Do you need the picture to be able to talk to her?I took Lily back to the vet. He adjusted her again and said that all the places he had adjusted the week Before had held except for her mouth. She has TMJ. Val had said she thought it was TMJ.I hope it will hold this time. That explains why she doesn’t eat the dental bones, it hurts to chew them. I am glad we finally found out what is wrong. I wonder if we should start the Scent training. Is that the only place that hurts now?
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Hi Peg,
Thank you and yes I had a wonderful time visiting with family from out of town. The photo would help tremendously. Whenever you get it is fine and pass it on.
I will update you on my conversation with Lily tomorrow (sorry to leave you hanging – all good stuff). Been off and running all day.
Take care! -
I had a wonderful time with Lily today. She gave me such a wonderful greeting, wagging her tail. I told her that her Mom wanted to ask her if she had any pain in her head or feet.
(T) Do you have any pain in your head or your feet?
(L) quiet
(T) I’m not getting anything back from you so I’m not sure if that means you don’t have pain or you do have pain. How about if you are pain free, you move your legs, so I can know that’s true?
(L) lays down in front of me with her head down on her front paws.
(T) I don’t know what that means. Does that mean that you don’t have any pain? Your eyes look relaxed., but you could be trying to hide your pain. I just want to get it right.
(L) Stretches out in front of me, showing me a very relaxed body.
(T) Thank you for showing me that. Your body seems relaxed. I don’t think you have pain.
(L) Lily does a shuffling on her front feet and then gives a playful bark.
(T) Thank you for that! That is great communication.
(T) I think your Mom is afraid to have you do activities if you are in pain.
(T) Do you have any idea why your Mom thinks you may have pain in your Mouth, Head or feet?
(T) How can I confirm to your Mom that you don’t have any pain in your mouth?
(T) Can you show me eating your kibble? Are you in pain while eating kibble?
(T) You don’t chew on chew toys because you just don’t care for them. They don’t hurt, you just have no desire to chew on them.
(T) So let me get this right… Your mouth is not really hurting you, sometimes you’re just a messy eater. Sometimes when you are really hungry you put too much food in your mouth and some falls out,
(L) I’m a dainty girl but sometimes I don’t eat like a dainty eater.
(T) You don’t care for chew toys very much.
(T) Do you have pain in your mouth? Something on the inside that maybe burns or something like that when you chew or eat?
(T) (Confirming) You’re not drooling when you eat but you might drop food sometimes when you eat too fast and put too much in your mouth at once.
(T) That makes sense
(T) No wiggly teeth. Did you let the Vet look inside your mouth? It is very important to let the Vet look at you and touch you even though you don’t like strangers touching you. The Vet has a very important job to make sure you are healthy and happy.
(L) Lily puts her head down on her front paws in a relaxed playful way. Her eyes looked very relaxed
(L) I want to do activities with my Mom. I want to do the search.
(T) Your mom is worried that she will miss the signs that you are not feeling well. Like a headache is very difficult for humans to detect in animals. You guys handle or hide headaches way better than humans do.
(T) How about the nails? Have they been cut too short? Is that what happened and you hurt your foot a long time ago?
(L) Yes, I would rather my Mom leave my nails a little longer versus shorter. When they are cut too short, it hurts for a long time.
(T) That makes sense.
(T) OK I think you are a happy girl.
(T) Lily walks and trots back and forth happily.
(T) Ok can I check your chakras? I won’t touch you, I will just hold something over your body at different spots to see if you are open or closed (issue or no issue).
(L) Yes that is OK
(T) I checked her chakras and they were all open. I did a body healing/clearing over her entire body. She seemed to like it very much.
(L) Lily gave a big stretch when we were done. She liked it and asked if we could do that again sometime. I told her that we could do it again in the future.
(T) Is there anything else that you would like me to tell your Mom?
(L) I am ready to do activities.
(T) OK I will tell your Mom. That was a great conversation. I enjoyed it very much. Thank you for sharing so much with me today. I will talk with you again soon.
Bye!Post note: Regarding her mouth…I remember her telling me that her jaw would sometimes click or shift when she was eating. It didn’t hurt but it was weird. I have the same issue so I understood what she was saying. My dentist told me not to bite on large pieces of food (in the case of dogs that would also include chew toys). She said she has no desire to chew on chew toys but that may be correlated to her jaw. It is not painful when it clicks in and out but if it were to go completely out and get stuck that would be a situation that would need attention right away. I have had this for as long as I can remember without issue. I certainly do not want to override any medical observations but that is what she described to me.
I hope this helps!
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Hi Terrianne,
Thank-you so much for talking to Lily. She seems to enjoy talking to you. I am starting her scent class tomorrow and I am glad that she wants to do it. We can check with her after a few classes and see if she still wants to do it. I hope eventually she will chew these bones when her mouth is feeling better. I don’t know what to do with the bones. I guess I could give them away to another dog. Some of the bones she chewed last year and now she does not chew them. I hope the Vet can cure her TMJ with chiro- adjustments. I take her back July 7 for a check to see if it is fixed.My friend Judy has decided not to have you talk with her cat. I think she believes this is some kind of voodoo stuff or something awful will happen to her cat. I guess there are people who don’t believe and are afraid of it. If it were me I would want to know why the cat is doing bad things and to stop it.
Thanks so much for taking the time to talk with her and then to write it all down. Peg
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Hi,
I wouldn’t encourage her to chew on bones or hard items, just in case it pushes her jaw out of alignment. The fact that she doesn’t care for them is a plus. She may instinctively know not to chew on big, hard items. I am so glad you will be starting search, I bet she will have a great time. Boy you move fast! I always enjoy talking with Lily, she is adorable.
As far as your friend is concerned, I think her reaction is normal. Many people are skeptical of things they can not fully understand. I would encourage her to take Muffin to the Vet to rule out any illness like a bladder infection or other illness that she feels she doesn’t want to use the litter box for. Make sure her litter box is kept clean at all times. Some cats are extremely finicky about that or it could be the type of litter she is using. Cats can be difficult to read sometimes. Too bad the Humane Society did not tell your friend why she was returned to the shelter twice before.
Happy searching! -
Hi Terrianne,
We have now been to 4 scent classes. I was wondering if you could ask her if she likes it? She seems to like it. We have been practicing at home. Some of the dogs at class bark and growl at her so she does not have friends to play with like she had at the Agility class. I hold her most all the time. She cries during class and I wonder why, she cries in the car when we are going there as well. What is she trying to tell me when she cries. She cries often at home.
Hope your summer is going well—-another hot day. Where do you live? I am in Iowa- Bettendorf on the Mississippi River.
Peg -
Hi. I live in San Diego. Summer is finally here. The kids have had their friends over so that means “Let the BBQ’s begin!. It’s always a pleasure to talk with Lily. She is such a cutie!
(T) I was eagerly greeted with a happy dance. We chatted a bit before getting down to business. 😉
(T) Your Mom wanted me to ask you about your scent training class. She wanted to see if you liked it. By watching you when it’s your turn, it seems like you’re having a good time, but you cry sometimes when you are there. You are also crying in the car on the way to scent class and now it seems you are also crying at home which is not like you.
(T) How exciting that you started scent work. Do you like it? How does it work?
I like it.
(L) They hide stuff, food. When it’s your turn, you get to find it. You can eat it when you find it too.
(L) I’m a good finder!
(T) I bet you are a good finder(T) Can you tell me why you seem to be crying?
At home, sometimes my Mom moves around and it looks like it may be a class day. I get excited and can’t wait to go
In the car, I get excited when I know that the car is pointed in the direction of the class, my excitement goes up and I cry because I’m so excited.
At class, there is a lot of anxiety in the air with the other dogs. Everyone wants their turn. The other dogs see where the treats are being hidden and they want to go and find them. “I know where it is! I know where it is!” Boy, you can really get caught up in the excitement.
(T) Your Mom also mentioned that other dogs sometimes bark/growl at you or other dogs. What do you think about that?
(L) I know it’s from them being over excited but that is how accidents happen. My Mom keeps me safe, so I’m not too worried about it.(L) My Mom can just tell me when the day is of my class, so I don’t have to guess every day. She can just tell me and I will wait for the time calmly. I’ll try not to be so excited on the way there and during class.
(T) I don’t think your Mom is asking that you stop, I think she just wanted to know if you were ok and not crying because you didn’t like it. If you didn’t like it, she wouldn’t keep taking you.(T) Do you really like it then?
(L)I do, I like it a lot.
(T) You can do it at home too, you know.
(L) Lily’s eyes went wide. “That’s fun too” “We do it at home too”.
(T)Your Mom can mimic what they do at the school at home. Kind of like homework.
(L) Oh I like homework!.
(L) I’m a good student.
(T) So how do you feel physically?
(T) You’re not jumping too much to find the treats are you?
(L) No, I feel good. I am fast, ask my Mom. I run around and I find things fast.
(L) I like finding stuff. I feel excited when I do that. My body feels good.
(T) OK I just wanted to check.
(L) No, my body is fine.
(T) That’s great! Anything else to say? To me or your Mom?
(L) Tell my Mom I like the scent game. It makes me feel good. The excitement makes me feel good. I want to play more at home.(T) So let’s recap… You like scent class, very much. You’re very good at it too! Your increased crying is not out of fright or fear. It comes from excitement and anticipation. The energy in the class area can be high, but you like it so, you will keep your distance from the other amped up dogs and your Mom will watch over you too. “In this environment, I don’t mind being close on my Mom’s lap”. “I still don’t want her to pick me up and carry me, (unless necessary ), but she can touch and pet me at class”. “I’m not going to get hurt by another dog though, so she can relax and enjoy me finding everything”
Lily showed me her moving boxes out of her way to find the treat. Some dogs are tentative about moving items. Lily is not afraid at all. She pushes things out of her way like she has been doing it for a long time. Her heart is happy.
See ya. ❤️🐾 -
Hi Terrianne,
I am glad you confirmed she likes scent training. I thought that was what she would say. I am surprised she doesn’t know that she is to find the scent not a treat. The little tin that she is to find has 4 q-tips with the scent of birch on them in the tin. The tin may be in a box or just sitting out on a chair or on the floor. She gets lots of treats when she finds the tin. Does she know that she is to find the scent?
When I get ready for bed she goes under the bed. When I am in bed I call her to come and get on the bed. She does not come which is very annoying because then she will wake me up to put her on the bed later. Can you ask her why she does not come when I call her? She can not jump on the bed by herself. I don’t know why she can not jump on the bed or the chairs or sofa.
San Diego, what a perfect spot, right, great weather, no snow. You have had lots of HOT days?
Thanks, Peg -
(T)Hello Sweetpea.
(T) Yesterday we spoke quickly and I asked you to think about a few questions and we would talk further about them tomorrow.
(T) So Lily, can you tell me why you are not jumping up on the couch or sofa anymore? (Quiet)
(T) Are you afraid to tell me because you think activities will be taken away from you?
(L) Maybe…
(T) I don’t think so. If you’re telling us that you still want to participate in an activity that you feel physically able to do, then why would you have to give that up? For example, If you say your ears hurt…search requirements do not conflict with an ear infection. You may not want to search if you are in pain because of an ear infection. However, if you’re not bothered by it, then I don’t see why you couldn’t continue to participate in the search or other fun activities.
(T) Why are you not jumping up on the couch?
(L) Shows me a picture of a step to get up on the couch.
(L) If you can physically do it without a step, why don’t you just do that?
(T) Quiet…no answer to my question. It felt like I was not following her train of thought and it was getting a little frustrating for her.(T) The other question your Mom had was “When your Mom goes to bed at night and wants to put you up on the bed with her, you sometimes do not want to get up on the bed. Then a little while afterwards, when your Mom is drifting off to sleep, you want her to put you on the bed then. Why do you do that?
(L) Shows me a picture of steps going up onto the bed.(L) Everything is about being independent. The stairs will give me more independence. I could get up and down from the bed when I wanted and my Mom wouldn’t have to put me on the bed. The step to the couch and chair signifies independence too.
(T) You crave for independence but you left out control too.
(L) Yes, I like to have control over what happens to me too.Summary….
(T) Everything is about being independent. So you would like steps for the bed. (T) (T) Even for the couch?
(L) Even for the couch.
(T) You would like the steps in the bedroom and in the TV room. For independence. (L) It’s all about being independent. I also like to have control too. I like to know what’s going to happen before it happens. That goes with being carried. I don’t have control and it makes me feel vulnerable. I don’t like that feeling.(T) I feel Lily opened up more today. The two main ideas were; independence and control. She can be set in her ways. I guess that’s what you get when you put independence + control = set in her ways 😉
(T) Also, I asked her if she knew that she wasn’t supposed to be sniffing out treats. She is supposed to sniff out the odor in the tin box. If she could have rolled her eyes at me, she would have!
(L) Yes, I know that but if you get treats, that means you did a good job. I like searching for one thing to get the treat.(T) OK Lily, until next time! Always a pleasure my Dear! ❤️
Hi Peg. I love San Diego. My 3 children were born in the Bay Area and we moved here almost 5 years ago. We love it so much! Take care!
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Hi Terrianne,
I find it interesting that she did not tell you why she doesn’t jump up on the bed or couch. I thought maybe her legs hurt or her hips hurt and she doesn’t have the strength to pull herself up. The steps are in the bedroom and she does use them to get up on the bed now if I am asleep and she won’t come when I call her when I go to bed.
I am sad and mad that she is so stubborn and independent. I never had a dog that didn’t want to be picked up and ran away from me. Tell her I might have to get another dog so I can have a dog to pick up and love and doesn’t run away from me. I thought I was the master of the house and she is suppose to do what I want her to do, not the other way around. She must have been a boss of a company in her last life? I thought dogs were suppose to want to please their masters. I hope she will want to change to please me. What can I do to change this? It is so frustrating. Thanks for talking to her for me.
Peg -
Hi Peg. She is very intriguing to say the least. I do love her spunk. She would not respond to my questions directly as to why she won’t jump up on the couch and chair. Then she finally said it was about independence and control.
I understand your frustration. When you get a pet, you automatically get visions of what you will do with your animal and how you will interact with one another. Your on a high… this is going to be great!
Well I have learned over having many pets that you get what you get and you have to figure out how to embrace the relationships as they unfold. I have a cat that is now 10 years old. When I got her, I thought I was going to be able to hug her, kiss her and carry her around with me and just snuggle all the time. Well from the first moment I picked her up at the airport, she set the boundaries right then that she was not a cuddle bug and had no intentions to become one. 10 years later she will not snuggle or let me pick her up! She is very much like Lily in that way. I just had to learn her likes, dislikes and boundaries. (I learned she likes car rides, walks on leash, and stroller rides). Once I learned them and respected them, she will interact with me. If I step over the line and try to cuddle, she yells at me and runs away. I just have to love her in the way that she wants to be loved not the way I envisioned loving her. It’s a tough pill to swallow sometimes but I know she loves me even more because I respect her wishes. Lily loves you very much. She has said it repeatedly. She is just a girl who knows what she wants. ❤️ -
Hi Terrianne,
I hope ypu will have time to talk to her before Tommorrow night (Thursdau) I have a zoom meeting at home and Kel is going to take her to scent training. He is afraid that she will cry because I am not there. Can you explain to her that I can not go and she will be ok with Kel and not to cry. He says he will leave if she cries. She loves doing scent training and this class is going to be like a real trial. She loves him but she is a real Mommas girl. Thanks,
Peg -
I connected almost immediately with Lily. We did a dance about tomorrow being scent training class. I told her that her Mom wanted her to know that she has another meeting and she will not be able to take her to scent class. Kel however, will step in and take her to class. There is concern that Lily may not want to go with Kel since she is such a Mommy’s girl. Kel said that if she starts crying for Peg, he will turn around and come back home versus having her be upset the entire class.
Let’s see what Lily has to say…
(T) Tomorrow is your scent training class. I know, exciting! Your Mom has a conflict and can’t take you to class. BUT Kel has offered to take you instead. How does that sound to you?
(L) 🤔 I think that will be fine. I can show him how good I am at scent training. I know Mom tells him I am really good but it’s better for him to see for himself.
(T) I was thinking the same thing!
(T) They still may be confused by the crying I think. If you cry when Kel takes you to class, he may not think that you are crying out of excitement and anticipation. He might think that you’re crying for your Mom. I will tell them that your crying is not because you don’t want to do scent training. It’s more like you can’t wait to get there and play. I will tell them that you will try and keep the noise to a minimum. 😳
(L) I want to go so I will try to stop crying in anticipation but it’s not easy.(T) How is your relationship with Kel?
(L) I think we have a good relationship. We don’t go out just the two of us. I don’t know why. I mostly do things with Mom.
(L) I would like to show him how good I am. He is going to be amazed.
(T) OK so you’re fine with Kel taking you to class tomorrow?
(L) Yes it should be fun.
(T) Are you going to limit the crying? If you cry, he may misunderstand you and think you are crying because you miss your Mom and turn around and take you home.
(T) Do you understand what I am saying?
(L) Yes, it’s the humans that don’t understand me!
(T) 100%. Very true. You guys are way ahead of us in that department.
(T) Humans get funny when they don’t understand things. They want to go back to the spot when there wasn’t any crying and all is well. No crying…fixed. That’s not the reason for your crying so it’s not fixed, just misunderstood. Kel doesn’t want to put you in a bad situation…he loves you. Little Pumpkin Pie.
(T) So I think crying will be your only hurdle. If you can manage that, I think you will have a great time together. I can already see you showing off!
(T) Let me tell your Mom that you know Kel is going to bring you and you’re going to show off and you are going to hold in the excitement without crying.Looks like she is all set and ready to show off for Kel. Tell Kel to be prepared to be amazed! ❤️🐾
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Hi Terrianne,
I am replying on the scent class last night. Kel said she cried in the car on the way down. He was worried that she would be that way at class. She stopped crying part way there and did not cry when she was there. She did well in her search except for one try and it took her longer to find it. She spent the time in between sitting on his lap. He was happy with her. He goes with me to class every week so he knew how to do everything. We don’t have class for 2 weeks now but I will work with her at home.
I don’t understand her crying when she is excited and happy. I think she also cries when she is hungry, wants to go outside and other stuff. It is hard to know what the crying means. How do I do that?
Thanks so much for talking to her. I think that it made for a good experience for Lily and Kel.
Peg -
Hi,
Sounds like it was a very positive experience overall. I’m so glad Kel didn’t turn the car around. She explains her crying as excitement. Like when a vacation is coming up. 7days, 6 days… it’s getting closer. I can’t wait! Thinking about how the scents will laid out to find is something to be excited about. Will it be easy or hard to find? So in this situation, crying can relieve internal tension and excitement on more of a personal level not so much a communication level.
Crying to go out to potty or when she is hungry is direct communication with YOU. Crying is a behavior in these instances that; 1. Gets your attention and 2. Is a behavior you quickly understand depending where she is standing in the home. These two instances that you gave for examples are “communication” that you are having and IS two-way communication that works. So if something as simple as standing near the door and crying gets the point across that she needs to pee and she gets her needs met quickly, why would she change a smooth exchange of communication? You and I are similar in that we want to sit with a cup of coffee and chit chat with our dogs about life. Hopefully some day something close to that may happen. Until then though, we have to keep plugging along working with other people’s animals, strengthening our intuitive skills. Until we are having our coffee, half asleep, when someone asks “Did you sleep well?” We would probably drop our coffee all over the place! 🤣🤣
I wish I could see her in action!
Take care!P.S. Have Kel take her out special just them for a pup-a-chino at Starbucks or something like that. I think she would love some special Kel time. ❤️🐾
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Hi Terrianne,
Can you please ask Lily why she does not eat her dog food. I now have ants if I leave the food down and she does not eat it/ Then I throw it away. Tonight I gave her that Fresh Pet that you get from the refrigerator in the store. It comes in a tube and you slice it off. She did not eat it right away and pretty soon there were the very tiny ants on the plate. She has always eaten it right away. I started giving her that food because she was not eating her dry food. She does not seem to be hungry in the morning. I did try giving her an egg in the morning but now she does not eat that either. I feed her the freeze dried raw food by Halo-/was Tru- dog. I don’t put water on it because she does not always eat it and then I have to throw it away. It is very frustrating and I worry she does not get enough to eat. What is the problem?
Thanks,
Peg -
My intention is to ask Lily why she hasn’t been eating the gourmet food her Mom has been putting down for her.
(T). Your Mom wants to know why you are not eating your food that she has been giving you? She is buying you high quality foods that need to be refrigerated.
(L) I’m not hungry.
(T) I’m not talking one day, it’s been a few days now.
(T) Your Mom has had to throw out most of the food because you don’t eat it. It is very expensive. To top it off, now she has ants.
(T) She gives you what you have liked in the past and you turn your nose to it.
(T) She has tried several different kinds of foods and you just turn your nose up or you will take a few bites and walk away.
(T) So that is your Mom’s story. What is your side to the story?
(L) Nothing
(T) Why aren’t you eating? Do you feel ok?
(T) Can you give the feeling you have in your body to me? I can feel it if you send it.
(L) Showed me how her body feels by projecting her physical feelings onto me.
(T) This is something I have trouble with but I felt connected through this connection.
(T) Lily’s body felt fine. I also checked her chakras and they were open.
(T) Is there anything you want to eat?
(L) picture of human food on the table.
(T) I explained how human food would not be a healthy diet for her. A dog’s diet would not be a healthy diet for a person.
(L) I don’t like it cold.
(T) If that is a reason to not eat, I’m sure your Mom can warm it up a bit before serving it to you.
(T) Is there anything else you would like to talk about? Any messages for anyone?
(T) Well then, as always, it’s been a pleasure talking with you, lily. ❤️Hi Peg,
I don’t think Lily wanted to talk about why she doesn’t want to eat. Sorry about that. I’m not hungry; I don’t like it; I don’t like it cold; I want people’s food. She seems to feel fine. Has there been a routine change for her? Or something different in the home? 🤷♀️Tip: For ants, you can put a pan under the food and add some water in the pan. The ants should avoid the water.
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HI Terrianne,
Thanks for the suggestion on putting a plate of water under the plate of food. It works, no ants.
She didn’t give much help with her food. She is being a brat, isn’t she? We went to the vet yesterday for an adjustment. He said her back end and her head, mouth were out. He had said she had TMJ. I am guessing she does not eat if her jaw is hurting. She will only eat on a plate, not a bowl. She is hungry in the evening and not in the morning on most days. Sometimes she will eat an egg in the morning. She weighs 8.8. The Dr. said she is not underweight.
thanks, Peg -
I connected again with Lily. We talked about her going to the Chiropractor for an adjustment. The Dr. said Lily has TMJ.
(T) Lily, I wanted to talk to you again about the reason you’re not eating much. I want to make sure you’re not in pain or if there is a solution we can come up with together to make you want to eat regularly again.
(T) Can you tell me why you’re not eating much these days? It’s a big change in the way you usually eat, so your Mom wants to make sure you’re not having pain when you eat or something else could be bothering you.
(L) My mouth sometimes bothers me but it’s not hurting me.
(L) I’m being picky and am waiting to see what she gives me next.
(T) Honestly, it seems like she has offered you everything she could think of.
.(L) Shows me a plate with a small amount of food next to a big plate with a big amount of food.
(T) Maybe you want to eat a big meal at dinner once a day? A snack at breakfast and a meal at night?
(T) If you start to gobble up the breakfast then your Mom can add some more to your breakfast. A little at a time. The food can not be left down all day. After 15 minutes (or so), the uneaten food will be thrown away.
(T) How does that sound? Did I understand correctly?
(T) I have to admit that not eating as usual all of a sudden does seem suspicious. If you tell us, we may have an easy solution to help you.
(T) I asked Lily for permission to check her Chakras, and then Healing Touch over any trouble areas. Lily enjoys this very much.
(T) After sending healing energy (emphasis on her stomach which was gassy) Lily said her stomach felt better.
(T) Once again, I don’t know if I made any headway with Lily today. 🤷♀️…
** Her mouth sometimes bothers her but it doesn’t hurt.
** She is partially being picky to see what else you will offer.
** She isn’t that hungry – Feed a small snack for breakfast and a full meal at dinner
If she starts to gobble down the breakfasts, then start to add a little bit more.
** Food will be picked up after 15 minutes so it doesn’t spoil.Hi Peg,
Glad my hack of putting a tray with water under the bowl helped. I think what I got today is pretty similar to what I got the last time. A little deeper….hope it helps! ❤️ -
Hi Terrianne,
I am glad you are going to make a business on Animal Communication. How are you going to do it? I may have some people who I could send to you. I often mention to people about AC so I would be happy to give your name. How will they find you?
Lily is enjoying scent work. Does she realize that I am trying to send the message to her of where the scent is when we are searching? I am not sure if she understands she is searching for the object that has the scent of birch in it? Does she understand what scent work is all about? I don’t know if she actually smells something in the box.
Thanks, Good Luck to you.
Peg -
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(T) It was nice to talk with Lily again. She is so sweet.
(T) Are you still doing scent work?
(L) Yes, and I’m very good at it!
(L) Do you understand the rules of the game?
(T) I almost signed my Rottweiler Sophie up for it, but she often marks territory and if she did that during Barn Hunt / Scent Training, it wouldn’t be good.
(T) I heard you’re very good at it.
(L) People hide things
(T) Do they hide the same thing every time or do they hide different things?
(L) Usually it’s the same thing but the box may be different.
(T) OK so the container holding the scent can be different but the scent is always the same? Did I get that right?
(T) What does it smell like? Something strong like rotten fish? A smell you could smell everyday?
(L) No, it’s not a strong smell. They showed us at the start of the class and explained what we would be looking for.
(T) I’m glad you have a good sniffer!
(T) I think there are different levels too.
(T) Would you like to continue if they have other levels?
(T) They may have a class called Barn Hunt, near you. It is a scent class where you learn to find mice/rats in the midst of hay bales. They are not running free, they are inside a container. You learn to find it and signal when you find it. I am going to look into something like that around my house.
(T) OK…I have to ask, Do you hear your Mom when she is trying to tell you where the boxes are hidden?
(L) I don’t need her help. Sometimes it makes it more confusing. I want to find them all by myself. I am good at it. It’s ok if I can’t find some of them. I don’t get sad. I just try to do better next time.
(L) I listen to her and then my nose says something different. Plus I don’t want the help.
(T) I am so happy your Mom found scent training for you.
(T) I have a question: Are you still crying in the car in anticipation of the class?
(L) No, not so much. I am still very excited, but I am trying not to upset my Mom and Dad.(T) Thank you for our talk today. You know how much I enjoy our conversations. Always a pleasure! Bye.
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Hi Peg,
Thank you for your kind words and support. I finally pulled the band-aid off and seeing what happens. To be honest, I was scared to put it out there in FB but I got next to nothing! I will continue to post my flyer in FB and Instagram. I have also started handing out business cards to people on the street, walking their dogs. Or to people that have their dogs with them in restaurants or clothing stores. I still have friends animals that I have not read yet, so there is still more to practice! My confidence goes up and down so quickly so I have to keep mindful of that, but otherwise I am going to just do my very best and see what happens! I will try to figure out a way to send you a flyer…let me know if it opens as an attachment. Thanks! -
Hi Terianne,
I made a copy of your poster so I can pass it along to people. It is very good. Good luck with your business. I hope someday I can learn how to do this.
Lily is doing well with scent and I am trying not to tell her where the scent is since she wants to do it by herself. If she is having a hard time finding it then I picture where it is. She is still doing the crying in the car and I told her I was going to tell you about it.
She tears up kleenex when they fall on the floor and then when I try to pick up the many pieces she tries to bite me. What is that about? Is that a play thing?
She is doing better with the getting up on the bed. I tell her to come and turn out the light, She does not come right away but after a short time she comes to have me pick her up. Much improvement, thanks. I feel like I understand her so much better since you have been talking to her and we have a better relationship. thanks so much. Peg -
Hi Terrianne,
I have a favor to ask of you. Can you talk to Lily before Sunday? We are going out of town on Sunday afternoon and I asked my daughter, Liz, to come over and let her out. She does not know them, only seen them a few times and she is afraid of people she does not know and won’t come to them. Tell her to go out and piddle when they come and come back in the house and not be afraid of them. She will get a treat. I do not know why she is so afraid of people and will not let them pet her.
Thanks, Peg -
Hi Peg,
Sorry I didn’t respond to your previous email. I wanted to thank you for your support and kind words. It meant a lot to me when you said you have a better relationship and understanding of Lily. ❤️I will be happy to talk to Lily! It is always a pleasure. I will talk with her tomorrow and report back after our conversation.
Take care!
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It was so nice to talk to Lily today. She is always such a pleasure. We chatted a bit before diving in to the reason for the conversation.
(T) Are you still doing the scent training classes?
(L) Yes, and I’m still good at it too.
(T) Well it’s not easy so you should be proud of yourself.
(L) I do love it, I do! It’s so fun, yeah fun. I get to do it on my own, I’m not on a leash or anything. I just get to go and do my thing.
(T) That’s great. That’s a really good activity.
(T) Your Mom says you’re still crying in the car though. Anticipation gets the best of you.
(L) I just love it so much I can’t help it.
(T) Ha Ha, you make me laugh. I wish you could say “I’m so excited Mom, I can’t help it!”(T) Ok I guess you figured out that I am here because your Mom wants me to tell you something.
(L) Yes I knew that.
(T) OK, so in three days, on Sunday. Your parents are going out and they won’t be home for a few hours. Your Mom asked her sister, your Aunt Liz to come to the house to let you go outside to potty. She will probably be giving you your dinner too.
(T) On Sunday afternoon Liz is going to come into the house which is OK and she is going to let you go outside to potty. That is for your benefit, so you don’t have to hold it for many hours until your parents come home. Your Mom was very nice to set that up for you.
(T) You don’t have to be afraid when they come in, because they are coming in to help take care of you. They only want to help, which is very nice. I’ll have your Mom tell her the rules not to pick you up. I will tell your Mom to tell Liz that if you are scared that she can open the door to the backyard and move away giving you room to pass by into the backyard.
(L) Lily shows me her running out the door trying to make as much space between the door and your sister as possible.
(T) That’s fine.
(T) Then you have to come back in though, that’s the thing. It’s very important that when you do go outside that you do go potty. It doesn’t make sense for her to come all the way over to let you out to potty if you don’t go when she lets you out.
(T) If you refuse to go outside then Liz will have to put a leash on you and take you out to potty. I think you would want to do it all by yourself because you are a very independent girl.(T) I will tell your Mom that if you choose to have Liz to pet you she should do three petting strokes and stop. If you lean into her, that means you want more. She can repeat that again and stop and see if you want more pets or if you are done. If you are not interested at all, she can speak to you from a distance and that will be just fine.
(T) When they come I know she is a stranger and that is scary for you. That’s why your Mom wanted me to tell you ahead of time so you would expect them and know why they were there. So when they come in you will know what is going to happen when they are there. She will know the rules…Not to rush up to you and no picking you up.
(T) I think you are going to like her. Give her a chance. You don’t need to bark at her because you know exactly what is going to happen. You got this!(T) Do you have any questions or concerns?
(L) No. She can come in but I don’t think I will want her to pet me.
(T) That’s fine but remember, it’s your responsibility to go potty when she lets you out.
(T) Ok I’m going to connect with you after your visit so see how you did. I know you are going to be a rockstar.
(T) Bye Sweetie -
Hi Terrianne,
Thanks for telling Lily about my daughter Liz coming over. We plan to leave about 11:30 on Sunday and Liz is planning to come around 3. We probably will not be home until 6 or later. We might stop for dinner somewhere. Liz might come with her son Jack. I just want her to stop being scared of people and let them pet her.
Tonight we went to dog school. She was awful. She did not want to get in the car to go and she cried the whole night and also on the way home. She did very well finding the scent but then would cry again. I can not figure it out. I told her I was going to tell you about it. If she does not want to do this we will quit. I am not going to listen to the crying every time. It is very annoying to us and everyone else.
I saw your note about essential oils. I do doTerra essential oils and we have info on the oils for dogs I can send you. -
Hi Terrianne,
I guess Lily has decided not to do anything I want her to do. My daughter, Liz, came over to let her out today when we went out of town and she did not want to go out. She even put treats out to get her to go and it did not work. What is her problem? I am so angry with her. Why is she doing this? Did she forget what you talked about going out. Sometimes if Kel gets here before me she won’t go out and potty for Kel, she waits for me to put her out to potty.
She cried all Thursday night at dog school going and coming and while we were there.
Sat when Val talked to her about being one of my previous dogs she said in my younger days and would not tell her which dog, she wants me to guess- is it Rudy or Beau? Why is she being such a brat? I am sick of this behavior. I guess I will have to put her in a kennel when I want to go somewhere. It doesn’t look like I can ever ask someone to come to the house to take care of her. If I die before she does she will never be able to go to anyone else. I am anxious to see what she has to say about this behavior.
Thanks, Peg -
I connected with Lily today as a follow up to our last conversation. Last week, I told Lily that her Aunt Liz would be coming to the house to let her out to potty because her parents would be away for several hours. Lily did not go outside to potty as we discussed. She closed to hold it in until her Mom returned. It is my intention to also talk to Lily about her crying behavior on the way to her scent class as well as when she is participating in the class.
(T) Hi. Your Mom told me you didn’t go outside to potty when your Aunt Liz came to let you out to potty. Did you have an accident or did you hold it?
(L) I held it.
(T) Well that is silly and not good for your bladder. I’m sure you must have been uncomfortable holding your bladder for so long. That was the whole point of having Liz come and let you out to potty.
(T) I know your Mom was frustrated because it seems that she is the only person you will trust and do things for. That is a lot of pressure on your Mom. Would you please just consider opening up yourself to your Dad caring for you as well as your Mom? Your Dad loves you too. You should spend more time with him and you will see that he cares for you very much and wants to interact with you.
(L) …..thinking. ….considering. Stopped.(T) Can we talk about your scent class for a moment.
(L) Yes, I’m very good at it!
(T) Yes, I know you’re very good at it, but you’re still crying in the car and when you are at class too. This has become a problem while in class. The other dogs are bothered by it, losing concentration and the other owners in the class are tired of hearing it. Your Mom is both frustrated and a little embarrassed.
(T) I’m sorry to say that if you can’t hold in your excitement and anticipation by not crying, then you will not be signed up for classes anymore. It is that serious. Just like not going out to potty when Liz opened the door for you, it’s your responsibility to stop crying when you are on the way to scent class and during scent class.
(T) I know that you are super excited but I think this is your last chance.
(T) I hope you take me seriously because you are about to get kicked out of class. (T) Your Dad is going to say “She is crying, turn the car around” and your Mom at this point will do it. The car is half of it. The other half is the class. If you cry during class, then that will be your last class. Move your feet, do a happy dance. Just don’t cry! Please don’t call the bluff.
(T) I know you can do it. So if you cry, that is going to be taken as you don’t want to go anymore.
(T) Is there anything you want me to tell your Mom?
(L) I know I upset my Mom when I don’t do certain things. I don’t mean to upset her.
(T) I think she doesn’t see any compromises on your part. You want her to be your sole caregiver but you don’t move out of your comfort zone to do something that your Mom would like you to do. That is both sad and frustrating for your Mom.
I know you’re an individual and you like what you like and you know what you don’t like.OK Lily please, please, please, don’t cry! I’m going to check in to see how your class went. Hopefully you have more classes in your future. 🤞🏻
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HI Terrianne,
I am reporting on class last night. She was silent for half of the time on the trip to class. Then she cried a little. She cried a little while we were at class and a little on the way home. I wonder why she cries on the way home. She is really trying not to cry. I guess it is impossible not to cry at all. We are having a trial in Dec. and Lisa, the teacher, said I should enter her in that trial because she is doing so well she thinks she is ready for a trial. I think that would be good for her to compete and try to get a title. Does she want to do that?
Did you hear what she said to Val on Sat. for the class about being one of my previous dogs? I know what she told you about being a dark dog. She would not tell Val. She wants me to guess, a dog when I was young. Could it be Rudy or Beau? I hope she will tell you.
thanks, Peg -
Hi,
I’m so glad she made a lot of improvements cutting down the crying quite a bit. I will praise her for a job well done and encourage her to continue to quiet herself. Patience is still required, “Rome wasn’t built in a day”. (I hope I got that saying right).That much of an improvement shows that she really loves it. If your teacher thinks she is ready to compete in a trial, my guess is that she would be all for it. I will ask her though as it is her opinion that matters. I am so proud of her though.
Question: What time/day do you go to training? I will ask her about the crying on the way home. My gut says she is celebrating a great time and that’s how she is expressing it. I will broach the subject again and see if she shares more details.I don’t know anything about past dogs reincarnation. I haven’t listened to Saturdays class yet. I can ask her and see if she says something to me about it.
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Hi Terrianne,
I wonder if you would have time to talk to Lily before next Tues. We are going out of town on Tues. and will be back on Sat. night. Lily is going to spend the time at Ned and Sandy’s and Cammie, the yorkie, house. She and Cammie are very good friends and love to play. She has been to Cammie’s house last year when we went out of town for the organ seminar. Cammie stayed at our house last year when they went out of town. She also has been over for dinner and we have been to her house for dinner. She got along fine last year when we left her. I hope that she will be ok and eat her food and let them take her out. They do not have a fenced in yard so she will have to go on a leash. I hope she does not cry all the time.We go to dog school on Thurs. at 8:15 and it is over at around 9:15 or later. Does she cry because she has to potty or wants food? She is hard to figure out.
Thanks, Peg -
Hi,
It will be my pleasure to speak with Lily. I will try to connect with her tomorrow. I apologize, I meant to praise her for lowering her crying for the one time going to search class and life got away from me. Just so you know, I will be talking up her visit with her friend like she is so lucky to be staying at her friends house for a fun vacation that you were so nice to set up for her. Positive thoughts and positive energy. 😉. It seems like she will have a blast though. I am so happy that she has a special friend. It has already been a success so you needn’t worry. I forget what time zone you are. I will try and connect before her last class. Honestly, she just loves it so much she can’t hold in her excitement. I will try and offer other ways to display her excitement and see what happens. I am proud of her. I am so glad you are able to get away as well. Take care!
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Hi Peg,
I just spoke with Lily quickly hoping I got to here before her class. I encouraged her to show her excitement by wiggling her body versus crying. So if she does jump a little or wiggle her butt you should acknowledge her excitement and positive expression.I also told her you are an amazing Mom and set up a vacation for her to stay at her friends house. I will connect with her again but I just wanted to get to her before class tonight.
Take care!
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Before I could properly connect with Lily, she showed me Her and Cammie running through the house having a blast with each other. Lily was following Cammie everywhere she went including going outside to potty and eating. She showed me she was having such a great time, it was truly like she was away at sleepover camp. I could feel her excitement and happiness.
Once I truly connected with Lily she shared:
(T) Lily was so excited. Her entire being was beaming with happiness and excitement. She stood in front of me doing her “happy dance”. I acknowledged that she was doing her happy dance to express her excitement versus crying.
I joined in on the celebration. Both of us were dancing and I was singing “I’m a happy girl, I’m a happy girl”. It was fun.(T) She started to tell me all about the things she was going to do at Cammie’s house. I told her I did see the things she showed me right before we started talking. Running through the house, chasing Cammie and having a great time.
(T) I’m so excited for you to have a sleepover at your friend’s house. Learning the routine, having fun. I loved having sleepovers as a kid. They were so much fun. I’m glad you are looking forward to it. I bet Cammie is too. I love your happy dance. Your eyes are sparkling. I bet Cammie is so excited too. I bet her Mom told her you are coming.
(T) Your excitement is contagious. I’m all excited inside. My heart is big and happy. Thank you for sharing that with me.
(L) How many days will I be there?
(T) (Counted out the days) 4 nights sleeping and Mom will come back on the 5th day.
That’s a good amount of time. You will be happy to see your Mom and Dad by then and sleep in your own bed.
(L) I do like Cammi’s Mom and Dad.
(L) What if I do get lonely and miss my Mom and Dad?
(L) If you start to miss your Mom and Dad, you can go to Cammie’s Mom and sit at her feet and stare up into her eyes. She will know that it means you are missing your Mom and Dad a little and she will pet you and give you a little extra love if needed.(T) I don’t know if there is anything else to talk about my Love. I just wanted to let you know what was coming ahead and see if you had any questions or concerns.
Seems like you are set to go.I want you to have a great time. Please tell me all about it when you get back home. ❤️
Peg, please tell Sandy to be on the lookout if Lily does sit at her feet and look into her eyes, she may be missing you and need a little extra TLC at that time.
I hope you have safe travels and a wonderful time!
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Hi Terrianne,
Lily had a great time at Cammi’s house. She was very good and they loved having her. They took her to the Blessing of the animals at church. They gave her a treat at church and I am not sure if that treat caused her to have diarrehea after she got home. Cami also was throwing up and had diarrhea after Lily left. Was it the treat? They are both fine now.
We went to class last night. She did not cry and she did very well with 2 scents. She does not seem to want to practice at home. We were going to practice after we came home and she did it once and then was done. Does she think she does not need to practice at home? I entered her in the scent trial in Dec. that our club is putting on. She has to have an AKC pal number, she is registered APR, so I sent for that. They wanted a picture of her and they sent back the certificate with “All American Dog” instead of Havanese. I called them to inquire and they said she did not look like a Havanese. I am really bummed about it. I guess it really does not matter as long as she has a number to participate in the trial. Thanks
Peg -
Hi Peg,
I’m so glad to hear the great news! No crying with regard to class AND she had a nice time with Cammie. Who knows where they got the upset stomach from.🤷♀️. The treat, some grass they ate, it is hard to tell. As long as they are all better now, that’s what matters. As far as practicing at home, that is very natural. The smells are the smells from everyday vs new hider boxes or hay? Other dogs who are excited waiting their turn… Home can’t compete with that. Try hiding her breakfast or the first few pieces and see if she is more interested.I hope you had a great time and didn’t worry about Lily too much. Now you know that Lily has someone to care for her in your absence if ever needed in the future. You can have good times without her and know that she is having an equally good time as well.
Take care,
Terrianne -
Hi Terrianne,
Last night was dog school. I think she finally has the idea. She did not cry , only a little, going down or at class or on the way. She did not want to get in the car. Is that because of the car seat? I get the idea she does not want to use the car seat and maybe I should use the crate instead. In my car I have a strap that hooks to the seat belt, would she like that instead? Kel’s car has the car seat. She did not want to get in the car going and coming home.
Thanks,
Peg -
I Connected with Lily primarily to tell her how proud I was of her for not crying in the car on the way to or the way home from Scent class. That has been a tall hurdle to jump over. I recommended that Lily’s parents join in on Lily’s celebrations by acknowledging her happy dancing versus crying in anticipation of exciting events.
(T) I first drowned Lily with praise and told her how over the top how proud of her I was, acknowledging her accomplishments and desire to change. We both danced a bit in celebration for a moment or two. It was fun, we both laughed.
(T) I have one question… Your Mom said you didn’t want to get into your Dad’s car. She thought it may be because his car has a car seat in it. Is that why you didn’t want to get in the car?
(L) I’m not a baby, I don’t need a car seat.
(T) Well it’s not about being a baby or not, it’s about keeping you safe in case there was a car accident or something.
(T) Your Mom said she has a seatbelt in her car. Would you like a seatbelt in your Dad’s car too? You could also have a crate in your Dad’s car. Which would you prefer?
(L) I’ll take the seat belt.
(T) Do you get clipped up to the seat belt to your collar or a harness?
(T) Would you like to try being clipped to a seat belt that clips to a harness versus your collar?
(L) Yes but only if it’s easy to do. If a big thing needs to happen, then I would prefer just hooking it to my collar.
(T) OK, that’s fair.(T) I just wanted to say again how proud I am of you. All of the changes have been all you! We have come a long way haven’t we? From the first time where you were hiding behind the kitchen chair to us dancing in the kitchen. It’s always a pleasure talking with you. Until next time.
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Hi Terrianne,
We do have a harness. She wears it for scent class as well as walks. We will get another seat belt for Kel’s car. I am glad to know she does not like the car seat. We have 1 more class in this session and there is no class until Jan. The trial is Dec.2,3. We are not going to go to class this winter. Kel does not see well at night and neither do I- we are old. We don’t want to do snow and cold. We will start class again when it warms up. I hope she will be ok with just playing scent at home. She does not seem interested in playing search at home. I can’t get her to do more than 2 times if at all. Does she think she does not need to practice. We now have 3 scents- birch, anise and clove.
She is doing very well with the crying in the car. Why does she cry so much- I was out in the yard doing clean up and I had her on the leash tied to the fence. She continued crying and barking because she could not get to me.
thanks,
Peg Kroegerthanks, have a good day
Peg -
Hi Peg,
I’m in the same boat of not seeing well at night. Dec 2nd & 3rd, got it. I will connect with her before the competition to give her a little pep talk (You Can Do It!). You are correct that she doesn’t think she needs practice, it’s more of a fun game to her. If you did want to try to practice at home I would try to include her meal as the prize. Maybe split it in half or thirds. Have her find the scent in a room and praise her and give her a third of her food at once while telling her she is a good scent finder (Or whatever you say). Don’t try to do it for more than 3 times or with her food because she won’t be motivated to do it and she will stop. At the very end, if you want to give her a special treat for a job well done, that is fine.
Her crying when tied to her leash is because she wants to be next to you and she can’t because she is tied up. This is from being frustrated and not getting what she wants. It is different from the crying in the car. The crying in the car was from anticipation and excitement. This is a form of crying is trying to manipulate you to do what she wants you to do.
To address the crying in the backyard you can:
* put her in the house
* ignore her attempts to get you to take the leash off
* get one of those tie downs that you put in the middle of the grass and the dog can move 360 degrees around for as long as the length of the line. (I like this idea)
* You can attach Lily to you while you garden. (I worry she may pull you over wanting to go in a different direction) I wouldn’t choose this one.My choice would be the 360 line and see if that helps. She will be able to be near you and she will also be able to sniff and sunbathe in close proximity to you.
Take Care,
Terrianne -
Hi Terrianne,
Happy Thanksgiving! My daughter is having the dinner, I just bring fruit- easy.
Lily does not get to go because she has 2 golden puppies and they are tooooo much for her.
The scent trial is the 30th and the 1. We have 1 event on Sat. and 3 on Sun. I just received the info on it today. I have never been before so I am not sure how it goes. They want the dogs in a crate unless they are showing. I am afraid she will scream and cry . She is a mommas girl and if she is not with me or can not see me she cries. She will have to be outside in the car by herself in the cold if she cries and screams. I tell her I will be back.
Why does she cry so much????? Some times I know it is for outside, food, play toys, but when it isn’t what is it? It is annoying.
Thanks,
Peg -
(T) Hi Lily, how are you doing? It’s nice to talk with you.
(T) I heard you had a quiet day at home by yourself. There were 2 active Golden Retrievers at the house your parents went to and your Mom thought it would be too much for you.
(L) That was a good choice. They are too much for me most of the time. Looking back, I had a nice day. I just laid around all day.
(T) Well I’m glad you can realize that your Mom made a good choice for you.(T) Your competition is coming up in a week. I’m very excited for you. Are you excited about it?
(T) I think the setup is going to be a little different from your classes. Because it is a competition, The only dog allowed in the room at one time is the dog trying to find the scents as fast as they can. They do this so the other dogs don’t distract the dog who is competing at that time.
(T) The other dogs, you included, need to stay in their cars until it is their turn. Some are in crates and others are in seatbelts. The dogs who are waiting for their turn will have to wait patiently for their turn.(T) I know this is going to be really, really, hard for you. You have been working really hard not to cry and I want you to know that I am very proud of you.
(T) This is a competition, so you’re going to have to go with the flow, and wait your turn. You will have your turn to shine.
(T) The other dogs will have to wait their turn as well.(T) Try to wait your turn without crying.
(T) When it’s your turn, see yourself as a rockstar, finding all of the hidden scents quickly. Boom, boom, boom! One right after the other. If you get stuck, just go on to the next one. Don’t waste a lot of time on a single scent.(T)What do I tell your Mom about the crying?
(T) You expressed that you don’t like being picked up and your Mom did a great job respecting that even though it was something she really wanted to do with her dog. (T) How can you compromise with the crying?
(T) Crying is a big deal for your Mom. Sometimes she doesn’t understand why you are crying and it gets her frustrated.(T) I know you have said repeatedly that you don’t feel safe when your feet leave the floor. What about crying? Is that something we can work out together?
(L) Tell my Mom that I am crying because I am so excited with anticipation that I cry in happy anticipation.
(L) Tell my Mom that I can’t help it sometimes. If I cry it’s about anticipation and excitement. I can only do my best.
(L) If I can’t stop myself from barking then I guess my Mom will have to ignore me. (L) Leave me in the car by myself or sit in the car with me and ignore me. I’m not doing it to frustrate my Mom. It is just so exciting, I love it.
(T) You can try doing your happy dance instead of crying? That seemed to help.
(T) I’ll tell your Mom if you are moving your feet and wiggling your butt, that’s your replacement for crying. It needs to be acknowledged in order for it to outweigh crying. Maybe she can join in on the celebration like we do.(T) When you’re dancing your mind is saying “ It’s almost my turn. I can’t wait for it to be my turn. I want it to be my turn!”
(T) I’ll have your Mom be on the lookout so she can celebrate with you.
(L) If I can’t manage the dance and I do cry, then my Mom should just walk away, so she won’t get frustrated.(T) I’ll tell your Mom if she sees you and you’re doing a wiggle dance, she should recognize that is your attempt to replace crying when excited and she should celebrate with you.
(L) If she can’t celebrate and is still frustrated then she should just walk away so she doesn’t hear me.(T) I know how hard this is for you. Know your Mom is trying as hard as you are.
(T) Your Mom has mentioned that you are a Momma’s girl and will not let anyone else take care of you.
(T) I would like to try out something. Are you in?
(L) Yes, what do you want to try?
(T) I would like to have your Dad be the one who is in charge of taking care of you. I would like to try this for 2 weeks. Your Mom can only be a bystander. She can still love you but your daily care will be done by your Dad. I think this will broaden your world of caretakers and your Mom can relax knowing that someone else can step in and all will be well if needed.
(T) All parties may be resistant at first but it will be a good time for growth for both of you.
(T) Are you willing to give it a try?
(L) Yes. I’m willing.
(T) Terrific, now I just have to run it by your parents.Ok as always, it is a delight talking with you. If I don’t talk to you before your competition, be the rock start that you are and have a great time. ❤️🐾
***** That was a lovely conversation today. So at the end of the conversation we talked about having Kel take over the care of Lily for 2 weeks. This should be done after Lily’s competition. You can prepackage food ahead of time if you would like, but everything else should come from Kel. I thought this would be a great exercise for all involved so you can see that Lily will follow someone’s else’s guidance if necessary. Kel may form a deeper relationship with Lily as she will with him. Lily is on board with the idea. Think about it for a bit and see if it is something you would like to try.
Good luck in the competition!
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Hi Terrianne,
Oh my gosh, we just came from scent class. We have not had class for the past month. Tonight was a special class for the dogs going to the trial on Sat. and Sunday. She was good in the car going and coming home but when she was there she was awful. She cried and cried. I know she was glad to see Lisa, the trainer and the other dogs she knows. We could not see the other dogs, her friends, because of this dog virus. Can you explain to her that this weekend at the trial we will not be able to play with the other dogs or go see her friends. We do not want her to get sick. She did great finding the scent tonight. Can she give me a signal to know that she found it. Tonight she turned and looked at me and I knew she was telling me which box it was in. Is that going to be her signal? Some dogs sit when they find the scent. That would be good if she would sit, then I would know for sure. We have 1 event on Sat. and 3 on Sun. When we get there on Sat. I am going to leave her in the car and go in and see the layout and go to the bathroom and listen to the instructions. I hope she will not scream and cry while I am gone.
thanks, Peg -
Hi Terrianne,
We went to the scent trial this weekend. It was not good. She did not cry in the car on the way and the way back but she cried almost all the time while we were there. She spent a lot of time in the crate, I knew she would not like that. Out of 4 she only passed 1 which was interior. I was not sure which one she wanted so I guessed and it was the right one. We had 2 interior and 2 containers. I could not tell which one she thought had the scent. Did she not know which one had the scent????? If she did she was not telling me which one. WHY? She also did not want to get in the car, both days, was that because she did not want to go???? I put her in the crate in the car. We are taking the winter off from training and will not go back until March. Does she want to go back to training? Does she want to go to another trial, there is one in June? I plan to work at home with her if she wants to continue. I am so disappointed, I thought she would do well like she does at class.
thanks, Peg -
Hi Peg,
I’ve been traveling and hosting for the holidays. Well from your last two posts, I pulled that she did great in the car rides which is still a big deal for her. So that was great. Not wanting to go into the car for class, do you usually have the crate in the car or do you normally use a seatbelt to secure her in the car? She showed me her in the back seat with a seatbelt on. I’m not sure if she already uses the seatbelt or that she wanted to try it. She was very upset that she wasn’t able to interact and watch the other dogs look for their scents. I had told her that this would happen for the competition but of course I did not anticipate the dog flu. She did not like waiting in the car and possibly missing something. I asked her if she wants to go back to training in March and she said that “Yes, probably, but ask again when the time is near”. I asked her if she liked being in a competition. She said she didn’t know why but she got nervous and was trying to find the scent so quickly that she missed some along the way. She felt rushed like she was in a race. She also said that she is focusing very hard when she is searching so she can’t look at you.Last time I suggested that Kel feed and care for Lily for 2 weeks. Have you tried this? Is this something you’re willing to try or not? Lily is very stuck in her routines and could benefit from expanding on her family circle. Doing things like having Kel walk her or take her for a ride will reduce Lily’s attempts to control daily events. This will also help if you need to have your daughter come by to let her out to potty. If your up for it and have questions, let me know. If your not up for it, that’s fine. We can table it for another time.
Take care!
Terrianne
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Hi Terrianne,
Thanks for talking to her. Kel is doing things with her , walks, taking her outside, she loves for him to hold her while watching TV, giving him kisses when he leaves ( he is not my husband. He comes over every day for dinner and leaves at 9. He has been in my life for 15 years after my husband died in 2005. He has been so good to me , takes me on trips, out to dinner. We go to the same church and he loves Lily) I think she is doing better with him and he is trying to do more with her. She loves him and is so happy to see him. She was in the crate in the car and at the show. When I go to the vet she is in the seat belt.
I wonder if she told you if she knew where the scents were in the trial. Could she give me a sign when she finds it? what is the sign. ?????? She could look at me when she knows where it is and she is standing or sitting next to it. Why did she cry the whole time she was in the crate at the trial? I did not have her in the car while we were waiting for out turn. We were out of the building in 2 hours, it did not take long. I imagine she was nervous because I was nervous and we only had 2 minutes which goes fast when you don’t know where it is. thanks,
Peg -
Hi Peg,
Happy Holidays! I apologize this post slipped by me and I thought I had responded. 🙀. Well I wanted to celebrate your relationship with Kel. How lovely you have found each other to spend time together. What a wonderful support and friendship. Lily also wins in the situation too! 😉. I know you said Kel is doing more with Lily and she is enjoying it. That is fantastic. The goal was just to have someone other than yourself to care for Lily so that she understands that in your absence, others can care for her as well. Her regular routine can go back or you can divide certain duties between the two of you. However you want to go forward is a total win. Great job to both of you.Keep on being the terrific caregivers that you are!
Happy New Year!
Terrianne
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Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Terrianne,
I hope you had a nice holiday. We did, except Kel was sick on Christmas. He is fine now.
I just had a BAD experience with Lily. She likes to chew kleenex in a million pieces when they fall on the floor. I have learned not to go after her and try to pick it up until she is ready to be done with it because she tries to bite me and won’t let me pick it up. Today I was standing right next to her and I grabbed her to take it out of her mouth and she bit me. Can you ask her why she has to chew the kleenex and why she bit me. She did the same thing to Kel one day. I let her know she hurt me and I was very upset. Does she think it is a game to chew the kleenex. I told her if she bites people she will have to leave and be put down because other people will not put up with it..If I die before her and she will have to go to another family to live. Is this part of her being independent?
How is your business going? I hope you have some people. I have mentioned you to a few people.
I see your dog is on for this month. Do you think I should put Lily on ? I have not suggested her because I can not communicate myself.
Thanks, Peg -
Today I spoke to Lily to discuss with her the dangers of grabbing Kleenex from her Mom’s hands. While biting her Mom in this situation may be unintentional, by not relinquishing the Kleenex, she runs the risk of biting her Mom’s hand and not the Kleenex.
Our conversation went as follows:(T) Hi Lily, How are you my love? Were you a good girl over the holidays?
(L) Yes I was.
(T) Well I know you know that I am talking to you for a reason.
(T) Your Mom told me that she tried to take Kleenex from you that you were ripping up and you bit her hand. That is very serious. I understand that you didn’t want her to take the Kleenex from you but you can not bite your Mom or anyone else. That is very bad.
(T) My dog Jade likes to rip up paper too. She still does it but when she was younger and I tried to get the paper out of her mouth she would try to get a better grip and would end up biting my fingers in the process. It hurt very much.
(T) Maybe your intention was not to hurt your Mom but now that you understand that when she tries to take the tissue from you, you can not bite.
(T) How about if your Mom does a trade with you? Do you like cheese? When you get into tissues, your Mom can say “trade” and that means she will trade the tissue for some cheese. You will need to drop the tissue in order to get the cheese.
(T) Do you think that would be a fair deal?
(T) It’s not that your Mom doesn’t want you to have pleasure in ripping up tissue, it’s more of a safety issue. If you eat the tissue, it can get stuck going through your system and you could get really sick. Your Mom doesn’t want you to get sick.
(L) I love it though.
(T) I know Lovebug, my dogs love paper too. I can’t let them have paper either. For the same reason, I don’t want them to get sick. We worked it out that when I want something in their mouth, I say trade and we trade for cheese. That’s why I think the same will work for you.
(T) Are you willing to give it a try?
(L) OK, I’ll try it. I like food better than paper.
(T) Great. Remember you can’t put your teeth on anyone. OK?
(L) Alright. It’s not that I think about biting her, I just get caught up in the moment.
(T) I fully understand. I appreciate how open you are when we troubleshoot together. (T) I applaud you for being so open to see things from a different perspective. That in itself is a really big deal.
(T) Great job. I’ll tell your Mom what we talked about.Hi Peg,
I’m sorry that Lily bit you when you were trying to take the tissue from Lily”s mouth. That behavior is called resource guarding. It’s very common to pop up in situations like this. It happens when a dog has a high value item and they DO NOT want to relinquish the item. Dogs will usually do one of two things…1 is they may bite the hand before the hand gets close to the object or 2 they will try to get a better grip on the object and when doing so, they also bite down on the hand that is actively trying to remove the object. If you are interested in learning more about it, I recommend a great book and easy read…Mine! A Practical Guide To Resource Guarding In Dogs by Jean Donaldson. There are several types of resource guarding and the book reviews the different kinds and how to address each one. I don’t think Lily has other resource issues other than tissues, I have read it several times myself. I find it to be very informative.
The idea of trading is to offer a higher value treat than the item she is resource guarding, This is a common behavior that can pop up in any household, mine included. The more you understand it, the more proactive you can be when handling this issue in the future.Of course I think Lily would love to be the FAT. She is very social with me and I’m sure would have a lot to share with the other students. Don’t worry about not being able to communicate with her yet. I still can not communicate with any of my animals and I have 6 to choose from! 🙀. I used to get frustrated by that but I just let it go and trust that one day I will be able to understand what they are trying to say to me.
Happy New Year!
TerrianneP.S. Even though we had a great talk, I don’t think she will let you take the tissues from her mouth (it’s too high of a value item). So please go right to trading.
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Hi Terrianne,
Hope you are doing well. We have started scent training again after taking off Dec., Jan., Feb. because of the winter. Lily remembered no crying, she is not crying very much at all. She did not want to get in the car. Does she not want to go ? I thought she liked seeing her friends and enjoyed looking for the scent. She loves Lisa, the trainer. There is a trial in June and I don’t know if I should sign her up for it. When we did the Dec. trial she did not do well because she was in a strange building and it was scary, she cried the whole time she was in her crate in the building. She never gave me any clue where the scent was such as sit or looking at me when she found it. Can she give me a signal when she finds it?????
Can you ask her why she does not want to eat the bones. I have bought different dental bones and she does not seem to like any. Some times she chews them and sometimes just leaves them. Does her mouth hurt???? Sometimes she eats her food???? Is it a digestive problem????I have spent lots of money on bones trying to find one she will like. Can you please tell her to eat them.
She gets me up in the middle of the night to go outside. Is there a reason she can not make it through the night? I get up many times in the night—-I AM OLD but she is only 3.
Thanks, God Bless You.
Peg -
Hi Peg,
My apologies, I did not see that you had posted in the forum. I have been on the site but I didn’t have any noticfication of mail.
Night Time Potty
I’m concerned about her waking you up in the evening. She should not be doing that. How long has this been going on for? Does she go potty successfully when you take her outside each time or is she just sniffing around and not going potty? She wouldn’t say why she was getting up in the night. I couldn’t tell if it was a medical reason or if she was just fooling around. Has she been going out to potty more often during the day as well? She may have a yeast infection or something similar that makes her feel like she has to relieve herself. Either way she can’t keep doing this for your sake and hers. What do you think would happen if you didn’t take her out in the middle of the night? Aside from objecting to you not taking her out as she is now accustomed to, do you think she will have an accident?
Scent Training
Her not barking is still a huge accomplishment. If I remember correctly, she didn’t like going into the crate at the scent class. During the class, wasn’t she allowed to sit on your lap or right next to you? Then when it changed a bit and she had to wait her turn in the car, they suggested she wait in her crate? I think her objection was being in the crate versus participating in the scent class itself. Let me know if I remember this correctly.
Dog Bones
She said she doesn’t really care to chew on hard bones. Her mouth doesn’t hurt she just doesn’t find it to be a calming activity for her. She prefers soft items versus hard items.
Let me know about the first two items and we can investigate further.
Take care,
Terrianne -
Hi ,
I think that she wants to go out in the middle of the night because I have to get up. She doesn’t always have to get up. I am going to try and not take her out. She does always have to go, I put her on the retractable leash so she has to come right in after she goes. It is strange that she won’t tell you why she wants to go out. I think she could make it until morning. Does she think it is time to get up even though it is dark. During the day she doesn’t seem to be going out often. I will monitor that. I always let her out when I come home.
I put her in a crate to go to scent class in the car but she sits on my lap at scent class. Is she scared of going in the car in the crate or does she not want to go to class? She was in a crate at the scent trial which she did not like. She did not wait in the car, she was in a crate inside at the trial while we waited for her event. That was the time when the dog virus was going around and they did not want dogs near other dogs. I think I will enter her in the scent trial in June. It is at the same location as before, I hope she won’t be scared this time.
The bones are for her teeth. I spent a lot of money on them and I have bones everywhere that she leaves around. Can you please tell her she needs to eat them so she won’t have to have dental surgery on her teeth when they get tartar on them and fall out. At one time she was having issues with her teeth when they were coming in, but she has all her teeth now that she is 3.
Thanks, Peg Happy Easter -
Nighttime Potty
I asked Lily why she was having her Mom take her out multiple times during the night. I asked her if there was a medical issue or was she bored and wanted to wake her Mom up for company and stretch her legs. I asked her if it was turning into a habit or if it was in fact a medical issue.
Lily did not confirm a medical issue causing her to go outside during the night. She showed me a picture of her walking to the door with her flexi-leash on sniffing and having a nice time. She then looked at me with a sheepish grin. Since Lily is not exhibiting symptoms during the day, I will encourage Peg to ignore Lily completely during the night and see if there is evidence of any “accidents” in the morning. The hard part will be for Peg to ignore Lily’s pleas to be acknowledged and to be taken outside. I expect Lily to put on quite the show as she can be a little bit of a drama queen when trying to get her own way.
Search Class
Lily does enjoy the search class very much. Again, I told her how incredibly proud I am of her that she continues not to cry as that was a huge issue last sessions. I asked her why she was having such a hard time with the transition getting into the car and when she is at the class. Was there something in particular that is upsetting to her? Her issue seems to revolve around the use of the crate. Do you normally have a crate that she travels in when in the car on a normal basis? She shows me an empty crate and she is attached to a seatbelt in the car. I am not sure if she normally travels in the car via seatbelt or crate. If she normally travels in the crate then she may have shown me the picture because she would like to travel via seatbelt and not a crate. If she needs to be crated as a class rule, explain to Lily that all students need to be in their crates during this portion of the class (if you know the reason mentally think about it and then say it out loud.).
Dental Bones
I told Lily that you wanted her to chew on the bones so that her teeth won’t be covered with plaque and fall out eventually. It is out of love and concern that you want her to eat the bones. You have bought so many different kinds to find one that she likes.
She said she doesn’t like to chew on hard things. It doesn’t bring her pleasure like it gives other dogs. She prefers softer things.
I suggest thinking of other alternatives to oral health…. Drops to put in a water bowl, or take her somewhere that offers anesthesia free dental cleaning.Conclusion:
Nighttime Potty: Try to ignore Lily’s pleas to get up in the night. She will try to be convincing and pull on your heart strings.
Check to see if there are any “accidents” the following morning. If there are no accidents and behavior is normal during the day….it’s most likely behavioral.
If you find an accident then perhaps she is experiencing something medical and should be checked out by the Vet.
Search Class: The hesitance regarding getting in the car for class seems to revolve around the crate. I couldn’t clearly see if she only has the crate in the car for lessons or if she normally is in a crate during car rides. She has several times shown herself fastened in the car by a seatbelt. If she doesn’t normally travel in the car using a seatbelt, I believe she is saying that she would like to try the seatbelt as an option.
If she needs to be in a crate as a part of the class, tell her about the class rules. Describe at what points she will be waiting in the classroom in her crate and other times that she will be allowed to be out of her crate. Tell her that all the participants including her need to follow the class rules.
Dental Bones: Even though you have tried hard to find the perfect bone that she would like to chew on, she doesn’t care to chew on hard things. It’s her preference. If you are concerned that her oral health will suffer you can add drops to the drinking water that help with this. You might also consider taking her to a place that offers anesthesia free dental cleaning on a yearly basis.
I hope this was helpful. Keep me posted, especially on waking you up at night.
Take care,
Terrianne -
Hi Terrianne,
I am upset about the dental bones. I have 4 bags of bones, I ordered some from Dr. Marty on line. Can you PLEASE tell her to eat these bones– I have at least 100. they are super-duper dental bones. Tell her When they are gone I will not order any more and we will find something else. She has eaten them in the past so I thought ordering them was a good idea. I have over $100.00 in bones. That is why I thought something is going on in her mouth or her teeth. What can we bribe her with to eat these bones?The crate is only in the car. We don’t bring it in to class, she sits on my lap. When we went to the scent trial she was in the crate in the building and in the car going to the trial. She does the seat belt in my car when we go somewhere. I guess we could try putting the seatbelt in Kel’s car. She needs to get use to the crate because she has to be in it when we go to a trial. The crate is in the kitchen and she goes in it but I don’t shut the door. I feel she has more protection in the crate if we had an accident or have to stop fast.
I have tried the not taking her out when I get up in the night. I just go back to bed and ignore her. That worked well but last night she would not settle down so I finally took her out and she did piddle right away. I guess I could take her water away at dinner time. I will monitor her water and see if she is drinking a lot at night before bed. She likes to play at night so that could make her thirsty. God Bless
thanks so much, peg -
Hi Terrianne,
I have a favor to ask 0f you. Kel and I are going out of town this weekend. We will leave on Sat. and come home on Sun. We are going to Des Moines for my granddaughters birthday party. My granddaughter, Grace, who lives here in Bettendorf, Iowa is going to take care of Lily while I am gone. Can you tell Lily not to be afraid of her and let her pick her up, eat her food and tell her when she has to go outside to potty, let her take you for a walk etc. Thank you.
We signed up for another scent trial which is in June. When it gets closer we can talk about that. She does not want to practice at home. She told you before she does not need to practice. I hope she is sure of the smell, I am not sure and she does not let me know that she is sure of the place the scent is in. I wish she would sit or jump when she finds it so I know.
Thanks, God Bless
Peg -
(T) Hi Lily. Hello Sweet Girl.
(T) This Saturday your Mom and Del are going away for one night and your Mom’s Granddaughter, Grace is coming to stay with you.
(T) Have you met Grace before?
(T) I really think you’re going to like her. I feel good energy around her. You girls are going to have a slumber party. 🎉.(T) Your Mom was worried that you might be afraid of her. I don’t think you are going to be afraid of her. I’m sensing really cool vibes.
(T) She isn’t going to be pushy. She isn’t going to be into your personal space unless invited.
(T) Your Mom also asked that you let her pick you up…..No!
(T) Don’t worry, I will tell her that you do not like being picked up for any reason. I can’t think of any reason that Grace would need to pick you up?
(T) Can you get up on the bed? The couch? Favorite chair? Without help?
(T) OK then you’re good with hands free, unless you ask for it. Gotcha.Potty/Food
(T) Your Mom is also worried that you won’t go outside to potty or you won’t eat for Grace.
(T) I will tell your Mom, IF (but I don’t foresee a problem):
* Lily doesn’t want to eat or go potty with Grace, she can put food down and walk into another room.
* If Grace has to go potty, open the door to the backyard and walk away from the backyard so she can maintain her distance.Walks
If all goes well, and Grace wants to go for a walk…
*Grace can pick up the leash and if Lily wants to go for a walk, she will come toward Grace to allow her to put the leash on.
*If Lily doesn’t want to go for a walk, she will turn around and walk away.
*If Lily wants to go for a walk, she can stand/sit where the leash is kept.
(T) How does that sound? I think you’re going to like hanging out with Grace. She is really chill, I feel that.(T) You guys are going to have fun together, I like that! Lily and Grace dynamic duo. Have fun with Grace this Saturday and Sunday. Make the most of making new connections.
Talk soon.
Peg,
I hope you and Kel have a wonderful time. I feel Lily and Grace are going to get along just fine. I did veto the picking her up part though. I don’t foresee any reason for Grace to pick her up. I told Lily that I would ask you to make that request known to Grace. Other than that, she seems to be really happy. Always a pleasure speaking to Lily! -
Hi Terrianne,
Thanks for telling Lily about us leaving. She does know Grace. She and her brother Jack come for dinner about once a month. They were over last night. Grace WILL HAVE to pick her up. She can not jump on the bed, couch etc. She does jump off the chair or couch but not the bed. I wonder if it hurts her legs to jump up or down. She did not like agility because it hurt to do the jumps. Does it still hurt? She needs to get over the fear of being picked up. She is getting better with people she does not know. She is happy to see people and wants to give them kisses. I have steps that go to the bed but she does not
go up the steps, she will come down. She did not have these issues with Sandy, Ned and Cammie the Yorkie, when she stayed with them last Oct. when we were gone for a week. They walked her and picked her up.
Did you talk to her about eating the dental bones? I know something is going on with her mouth. I want her to chew them. I have lots of them and spent alot of money on them. Could she please eat them and when they are gone I won’t buy any more. -
Hi Terrianne,
.
We are going to a scent trial on June 8, 9. I am trying to get her to sit when she finds the scent so I know that she knows where it is. Can you tell her to do that so we can pass and get a ribbon and get a certificate. Does she want to continue with scent training and go to trials or does she want to quit? We can not move up to the next class if she doesn’t start doing better and show me she can find the scent. The dogs who move to the next class are able to tell their handler that they know where the scent is by sitting or putting their paw on it ,etc.
I guess I had to much info since it lost what I had written about Grace.
lily kept her awake by barking. What was that about? She finally let her pet her just before she left. She slept under that bed and spent most of her time under the bed. My daughter Liz is coming to let her out on wednesday when we will be gone along time. Hope she will go out for her. thanks Peg -
Hi Terrianne,
We are going to the Scent trial in 2 weeks. I have signed her up for 5 events in 2 days. We are going to do extra practice to help with it .I still do not know for sure that she knows where the scent is. I am trying to teach her to sit when she finds the scent. Does she understand that she is to sit when she finds it so I will know where it is.? I am not sure if she wants to continue with the training. She does not want to get in the car when we are ready to go. We are not using the crate in the car now we are using the seat belt.
Is she tired of doing scent and wants to quit.??? We can quit after the trial. My goal was to do scent so she would get over being afraid of so many things. She is better but she still is afraid of lots of things. There are mean dogs in our class and I have to hold her all the time and keep her away from the other dogs. She did have friends but they moved into the next class because they are better than she is. Thanks, Peg -
Hi Terrianne,
We are going to a scent trial on Sat, June 8 and June 9, Sunday. Last time we went she cried all the time she was in the crate. Can you please ask her not to cry while we are there. She has to be in her crate in the building and in the car.
Also when she finds the scent to look at me to tell me she knows where the scent is when she finds it. If she does not tell me where it is we will not pass. I have entered her in 5 events.
This show is in a strange scary building, last time she was scared. Does she want to continue with scent training after this show. Sometimes I think she does not like going to class.
Thanks, Peg
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Lily
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